How to win friends and Influence People Notes

“If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive”

Criticism is futile because it puts a man on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a man’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses his resentment.

John Wanamaker once confessed: “I learned thirty years ago that it is foolish to scold. Almost never criticized anybody for anything. Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.”

“Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof,” said Confucius, “when your own doorstep is unclean.”

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do.

But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism, and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.”